I was recently shopping for a new fridge. All I wanted was a large metal box that does what fridges are supposed to do – keep things cold. That should be easy – right? The answer, as it turns out, is not so much. Refrigerators, and all large appliances, are now part of a huge consumer conspiracy. We are being hoodwinked, bamboozled, hornswoggled, swindled, duped and fleeced. We, my fellow large appliance shoppers, are sitting passively by while the proverbial wool is being pulled over our eyes.

And the most frustrating part? We asked for it.

Large appliances are now considered a disposable commodity. They have a shelf life. They ship with an expiry date – like a carton of milk. The difference is that the expiry date on a refrigerator isn’t stamped anywhere. No where on the packaging does it say “You might get 8 to 10 years out of this fridge – 12 if you’re lucky. Then it will start making sounds like an Irish banshee and decide to stop cooling on a whim, likely during the hottest of summer days.”

Fridges never used to be like that. They used to last through 2 or even 3 generations. They were built of the same stuff as army tanks and battle ships, designed to survive the worst a family could throw at it and keep doing what they were supposed to. They didn’t pair with our smart phone, compile a grocery list, dispense iced lattes or remind us when our water filter needed changing. They simply did what they were supposed to do: keep our food cold so we didn’t die of salmonella. 

Somewhere along the line, we have made a conscious choice to trade bulletproof durability for bells and whistles. That’s true not just for major appliances, but for pretty much any consumer category we can think of. Everything today is “smart” but also ephemeral. They are designed to dazzle us in the short-term but they will soon need to be replaced. And this is all by design.

Let me give you one example of this planned obsolescence. We bought a fridge about 10 years ago. It has a water dispenser built in that has one small plastic part that has been replaced twice in the time we’ve had the fridge. Last year, that part broke again, so I went to order the replacement. I found what looked to be the part I was looking for, but when it arrived, I found that the manufacture had changed the dimensions by about an eighth of an inch, so the part didn’t fit anymore. It still looked exactly the same but the water dispenser could no longer be repaired because the original part I needed has been discontinued. 

Tell me that wasn’t deliberate. I now have a two-thousand-dollar fridge that may have to be replaced because a change was made to a little piece of plastic that costs about 4 cents to make.  

I’d like to find someone to blame, but the blame rests with us. We have accepted this questionable bargain with open arms and our whole hearts. Yes – Samsung, LG and the rest of your consumer-conning cabal – give me that microwave that pairs with my phone so I can start defrosting a roast while I’m miles from home. Give me an oven I can start by yelling from my armchair, like a sous-chef named Siri. Give me a fridge with an interior AI cam that keeps a vigilant eye on the doings-on that happen when the door is closed and that little light goes out. 

Yes, I need all that! Even if it only lasts for a few years. If I need cold food, I’ll get it from the fridge I have in my garage that I inherited from my grandmother. The one she got as a wedding present.