Why does it keep happening? I go to client meetings after being assured that the various VP’s and executives from the other side of the marketing chasm would, this time, finally, grace us with their presence. I’ll be presenting research showing how a fundamental shift in buying behavior is completely changing the rules of the industry they compete in. This isn’t just a few percentage points here or there. This is a massive 60% shift plus of buying behavior..a shift that will turn this company on it’s head in less than a half a decade. This is a meteor streaking to the earth, obliterating entire species. This is a 500 foot high sheet of ice advancing on a continent. This is survival folks!
Did any VP’s show? No. They never do. If your celebrity spokesperson is shooting a new TV commercial, they’ll be camped out at the shoot location, hanging over the goodies table, fawning and grabbing every opportunity to press the flesh. But heaven forbid they try to jam one digital marketing meeting (or worse yet, a search meeting) into their packed schedule of meetings and phone calls. After all, it’s no easy job guiding the Titanic into an iceberg. It takes a lot of time and planning to hit it straight on, ensuring your ship will sink efficiently and effectively. "Don’t bother me with your stupid research about changes in behavioral patterns or your lame advice, suggesting I perhaps change my bearings. What the hell do you know about marketing? Do you know how long I’ve been doing this?"
The problem, I’ve realized, is that the meeting invites always come from the e-marketing folks in the company, and as such, they’re treated with the same respect as a flaming bag of dog do-do you might find on your doorstep. Somewhere out in the balkanized regions of head office hell these teams huddle, immersed in their silly little schemes, nattering away about landing page tests, organic optimization, AdSense buys and attribution models – nothing of any consequence. Certainly nothing really important like GRP’s or Up Fronts or agency commission. These are the things that Marketing VP’s and CMO’s can roll up their sleeves over a two hour working lunch and really go to town on. Meanwhile, that stupid little e-marketing team is producing results that blow the socks off any traditional advertising initiative. They get the patronizing pat on the head in the quarterly marketing report, but really, does anybody know what the hell they’re talking about?
So when the meeting invite comes, the VP’s and CMO’s assume it will be some inane conversation about an obscure java script tag that’s wreaking havoc on the online use experience or how long we should set the cookies before they expire. “Give me a frigging break!” they fume. “I’ve got a flight of TV commercials to schedule and some new print creative to approve. I don’t have time to talk about some inconsequential thing that has a direct influence on 67% of the people buying our product. I’m all tied up looking at glossies of a print ad that maybe, if we’re extremely lucky, 4% of our market might see. Priorities, folks, it’s all about priorities!”
So, okay, don’t come to our silly little online meetings. Stay holed up in your corner offices in the executive wing, gazing fondly over at the high end schwag you scored from your media buying reps or the picture of you and Michael Douglas that your significant other snapped when you ran into him at the Cannes Advertising Festival. Rest comfortable in the knowledge that nothing of consequence could possibly be discussed in an e-marketing meeting – nothing like research showing that search is critical in over 70% of the research being done by your potential customers or that your two main competitors are generating leads from Google at 2 and half times the rate you are. It’s okay, you can just run another SuperBowl ad and everything will be all right. Just relax and repeat the mantra: “I’m a big, strong dinosaur. Nothing could ever beat me. I’m a big, strong dinosaur. I’m far bigger than those puny mammals.”
Come to think of it, I bet no dinosaurs ever showed up at those mammal meetings where they talked about kicking some evolutionary ass.