You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You

I'm a pretty "middle of the road" guy. I've spent most of my life trying to avoid being hated. And I remember when I first started writing this blog and other columns, someone said it would take awhile for me to find my voice. Now, there seems to be a convergence of sorts happening. I've spent a lot of hours lately trying to understand why we do the things we do. And as I've gained confidence in my understanding, I've ventured forth more and more often to provide my view of things. Generally I've had great responses to this writing, but every so often I get negative comment and I've noticed the tone of these has been more and more vitriolic as I've "found my voice".

I remember someone saying once you know you're hitting the right cords when you polarize your audience and people either hate you or love you. If you're in the middle, you're just boring. Having spent a lot of my life in the boring but safe middle ground it's a little shocking when someone takes the time to comment that your writing is "tripe", "long and extremely wind baggy" and "self serving". On the other side, numerous people have also commented that they find my writing "thoughtful" and "insightful". As hard as it seems to be for me to accept, this must mean I'm doing something right. At least people are taking the time to comment. I guess I just have to develop a thicker skin.


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Print | posted @ Friday, June 27, 2008 3:18 PM

Comments on this entry:

Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Barry Schwartz at 6/27/2008 3:49 PM

That is the right attitude. I think my skin has grown so thick that it takes a tremendous amount to upset me.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Dust Collecting at 6/28/2008 4:29 PM

As long as no physical action is take it's ok to be hated.You would not be able to be loved or even liked by everyone.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Craig Lutz-Priefert at 6/29/2008 10:39 AM

Gord,

I have been reading your columns for about nine months. You consistently supply me with new and thought-provoking insights. You just need to keep up the good work. I ready your columns because I want something different to think about and I want to learn.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Social Marketing Journal at 6/30/2008 3:44 PM

Great article -- the middle of the road never gets noticed. Thought provoking and sometimes controversial topics certainly do. Glad you found your voice -- remain confident and stick to your opinions!
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Jonathan Mendez at 6/30/2008 5:43 PM

It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keep on rockin' Gord!
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by randfish at 7/4/2008 11:55 AM

It took me a few years to find my voice, and another year to build a tough enough skin to reject the large amounts of mud-slinging that fly my way. I totally agree, though - you've built something really unique and positive, and I hope it keeps up :)

BTW - No matter how much the criticism reaches you, remember that it barely gets to anyone else - it's largely invisible. It took me a long time to figure out that the struggles I had with the angry Internet denizens went completely unnoticed by the bulk of the industry.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Aaron Goldman at 7/5/2008 7:20 PM

To Rand's point, when it comes to the blogosphere, it's the minority that is most vocal. Keep up the insightful work Gord.
Gravatar  re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by kass at 7/15/2008 12:13 AM

its good you finally found your voice. I work with some Japanese mindsets. when they hate you or you are not boring.... well they always have an adverse game pla. that's why I quit.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Internet Marketing Company at 7/17/2008 4:14 AM

Well the good thing is you found your voice. That's all that matters.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by juicy couture jewelry box at 7/28/2008 5:32 PM

Correct! It always happens with me, my friends always tortures me whenever I am doing something right.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Tony Vanman at 7/29/2008 6:52 AM

You do a great job. Presenting differing viewpoints and provoking thought and comment is always a good thing. AS a previous commenter wrote "it is easy in solitude to live after your own (opinions)" - and there are many out there who have a high opinion of their own opinions. Open mindedness costs nothing.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Teamwork at 7/30/2008 9:41 AM

I remember when I was younger I would always try to be the middle ground in every argument. Making sure everyone was right and so on, it turned out that it back fired on me and everyone perceived me as not having an opinion and therefore not being very intelligent. When I finally just took a stand I found that even the people who didn't agree me had more respect for me because I believed in something.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Utah Person Injury Lawyer at 7/30/2008 9:44 AM

My Dad right now works for the city's irrigation district and he has found that because the management before him didn't really enforce anything because he wanted everyone to be 'happy' there are a lot of angry people at the disarray. You don't have to be rude when you take a voice but you do have to be determined.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Brian M at 7/30/2008 11:09 AM

Gord,

I really look forward to reading your stuff (I keep clicking on your blog, hoping that you have something new to say), so please don't worry about any negative comments that you may receive. You are definitely doing something right...
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Self Pack Moving Companies at 8/6/2008 11:36 AM

The saying "You can't please everybody" applies with your article. I guess you just have to do what you think is right.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Linda P. Morton at 8/14/2008 8:15 PM

It's too bad, but the truth is no matter who you are, some people just aren't going to like you.

Because your finding that response to your blog, you are probably expressing the real you.

We are hated less and loved less when we try to be in the boring middle, but it's not real.

So congratulations on finding yourself through your blog. Some people never do.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Do Follow at 8/20/2008 10:47 PM

It reminded me of someone who said "If nobody wants to kill you, you aren't working hard enough".
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Spam Filters & Anti Spam Filters at 9/5/2008 11:45 AM

This isn't something I have thought about before. Somehow Ann Coulter comes to mind. I think the majority of the population resents her, but her video count on youtube is immense!
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by Chloe Vans at 10/8/2009 4:17 AM

Its not possible to please everyone and you will occasionally get bad comments on their site because people either don't like your style of writing or disagree with what you have to say. The important thing to remember is that if your site viewers are growing and visitors are returning then you are doing something right and trying to keep those visitors is a priority.
Gravatar # re: You Know You're Doing Something Right When People Hate You
by R Milling at 11/13/2009 11:02 AM

Of course it's not possible to please everyone. But just be warned that there's a difference between writing that polarizes people because it's truly though-provoking, and writing that polarizes people because, hey, that's what gets ratings! Part of the reason our news media is so terrible in this country is because responsible, thorough journalism just doesn't sell as well as sensationalist, polarizing nonsense. That nonsense literally serves no other purpose than to get ratings and create an artificial divide between people who are otherwise basically the same.

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